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Man, it’s been 90 days. And with the new year rolling in, I personally just don’t feel like going back. With a lot of personal matters happening at home, I feel suck to have not work hard enough to be able to make it in my own country. Pardon me, there’s nothing wrong with the company I work for. But there’s something wrong with the Singapore environment in general. That’s my gut feeling.

Just being there for 90 days feels like 9 months for me. I’m almost burned out. I’m everywhere and no where as well. That’s how it feels right now. Even if there’s no salad in the meat, nothing is perfect. Hence, I just feel like wanting to be here in Malaysia more than anything. I am homesick, that’s for sure. But I’m also a big believer in Malaysia. We have like another 8 more years before 2020 can come true. But we have very little time left to show off. Do we need to show off?

I’m prepared for the worst to come due to my actions. I’m unprepared as well.

The only reason why I wanted to write this down is to let it out. I don’t want to go back. I know many would scream at me “are you crazy?”, “the nexus of asian tech world is there!” and more. But trust me when I say, no where is better than home. No matter how hard you struggle. The grass is greener. Suspiciously green.

In conclusion, all that I need to do is shut up & move on. Go through it as what it needs to be. Life is ain’t all that great. It’s just as good as the way you make of it.

I am thankful for the opportunities.

I am thankful for the trust.

I am thankful for the friendships.

I am thankful for the relationships.

I am thankful for you.

I am thankful for being alive.

Here’s to the new year. Hopefully.

If only I had not flinch.

If only I had been patient.

If only I had been empty. Still am.

If only I had been rigorous.

If only I had been hardworking.

If only I had been friendlier.

If only I had been more kind.

If only I had been more loving.

Then this year wouldn’t suck as bad as it feels right now. Reading back your own blog probably makes you feel like that. Particularly when it’s the only avenue for you to pour everything out, keeping nothing in.

If only I didn’t suck. Happy new year.

It has been 30 days since I left home (but often enough, I went back because it’s so near!) to a place where I have few friends, and for obvious reasons, doesn’t feel like home. To be honest, this is the 2nd time I left the comfort of home for something that was unknown to me. The first was Langkawi. Though that situation cannot be in the same category of the current situation, I was left to tend to myself. Starting over is not something easy. But it’s not something impossible. As of right now, I am hoping for the impossible to happen. Continue reading →

A month ago, I turned 30. A month later, I took a bold step for mankind (yea right muthafucka). But nevertheless, I’m so grateful for how things turned up. I’m so thankful for the support I received from friends & family. I’m soooo happy to see the people I’ve been trying to help are helping themselves. It’s a major progress in Malaysia’s mankind. One step at a time yo, one step at time.

But seriously, I’m still nervous as fuck. Only God knows for what I am to become. I don’t even have a clue.

I guess everybody has heard by now that I’m leaving KL for Singapore. I’m such a attention-whore (who isn’t nowadays? If you’re on Twitter, you’re pretty much in the same camp). That aside, yes, I’m leaving for Singapore to undertake a new role and maybe a chance to build a new life. Continue reading →

While packing up my stuff, I found lots of old treasures.

Old programming books. Access programming. Yeah, I know. Continue reading →