Mr.Buyot’s Orgy Observations

It happens when I think.

if u have given a bribe to a traffic police before, than you no better than khir toyo. its bcoz of ppl like u, the corruption will never end. free your mind and your ass will follow. i am not saying that i am perfect. i am asking, ARE YOU THAT PERFECT? if u wanna fix the country, fucking do it. dont say it.

Man, I can be so stupid at times. At I’m quoting it here, again. It’s my Facebook status & I’m sorry for the loudness. I get really loud when the topic is politics. Now, an argument for that statement. Silly statement. I owe myself this explanation. We’ve all probably read enough about the drama that has been playing on our screen these days. I thank God for giving me the ability to ignore the telly. Khir Toyo’s drama, the latest death (my condolences), the reaction. Man, it really does feel like a movie I’ve watched before. I intentionally have been ignoring the political drama lately, work has been tough enough to think about. I know I will get really in to arguing possible political plays that’s being played. Every inch of possibility must be argued. But hey, being silly is my middle name. But you can’t be silly enough to be falling for that, which I must say, a well orchestrated drama scene? You must be joking.

There’s a reason why there sayings exist that interprets into this: politic is a double-edged sword. Because it is. In every scene presented to us, we have to be smarter before resolving ourselves into a particular path. In this case, the path of where the truth will lead us. That is, the truth that you choose to believe. I was really taken aback by what happened at the MACC building. It’s really sad. I’m really sorry that things had to happened that way. He was just about to get married dude… who the hell would do something like that?

I stop right there. In this scene, the culprits can be both the law & the accused. Something is definitely not right here. The way he died. The position of his body at the scene of the crime. The torn pants. The photo. Everything seems suspicious. Too suspicious for me to deny any reasonable doubt that both sides is guilty for causing that poor guy’s death. He was just about to get married. I don’t know why, but man, he was just about to start his life and somebody had to end it. And in my book, both parties are guilty. Guilty for causing the fear, the pain, the anxiety, the pressure, the depression and for the worst part, it all suddenly comes down into you like a snow avalanche. Both parties are truly guilty. But it’s not for me to judge. Only to feel.

I’m just really disappointed in the reactions I’ve read in MalaysiaKini forums, on Facebook, on Twitter. I mean, come on. Those guys are really going down if they do crap. But you can’t be falling into the drama until you actually see both sides of the story. Because at this moment, both sides are guilty. And until reality kicks in & decides to tell us what happened, then we will know. I know this is very reserving, but think about it. In this case, it’s way too fishy for both parties for not having a hand. Don’t fall into the mind games that they are trying to observe. Even at this moment, I know this is paranoid, but it’s possible someone might be reading this post & observe my reaction. That’s way too paranoid. Haha. But it’s possible, right?

When the players show their hands, with their cards and when we help ourselves by digging out stuff to make up the fact, which is the truth, then we win. Because this time, we think before we act. And we know we can act better. Better than ninjas.

Certainly, that would be ideal. But as you re-enter the world of barbarians, you tend to forget how painful it is to hide from that fact. You crawl back up, eating sand & dust right before you could get to that well. With no pail, how would you fetch water to quench that thirst? Do you improvise? Do you subsidize? Do you penalize?

I guess the only time when you realise is when you’re gone.

If ever in the future, you become rich, wealthy and happily earning money from your own small businesses. Out of the blue, you get the spotlight from the media & government. Out of the blue, people starting to be interested on exactly how much you are earning. One day, when you get yourself into that position, I will be the first laughing at you.

Think before you even start pointing at other people’s own problems. One day you will have that same problem. Come on, give that short old man a break. He’s earning his own money. If ever, he is proven guilty, than he should be punished. But until that day comes, give that old man a break. If I can prove anyone has given bribes at least once to a policeman, and that person gets instantly thrown into the spotlight for doing that one innocent crime for the sake of understanding, you will feel the pressure, the tense, the embarassment. The unwanted public scrutiny. Tell me, how would you feel when that happens? Won’t you be frustrated? My example may be extreme, but that is THE FUCKING TRUTH IN MALAYSIA. 1 out of 10 Malaysian drivers, has at least ONCE GIVEN A BRIBE TO A POLICEMAN. And just because this old  man is an assemblyman, you expect him to be perfect.

You know, if I was him, a politician, my disappointment is not towards my politicians. But it’s towards the people who believe stories before real, actual facts. The people, who has been given all the necessities, has shown their true progress & colors, by believing & crushing my life & my family, utilising the power of media. And the people didn’t even have enough factual evidence. Factual. Actual fact.

And you call yourself an educated person?

Heh. Get real.

I’m just pissed off at how the society is reacting towards one person’s privacy. Give some respect, don’t act like how they used to be when they were considered as “monsters”. That bribe statement is not really true. Then again, there were some stories.

While mingling with the peeps at Fedora 11 launch party in Saito College PJ, I was kinda overwhelmed & also humbled by the growing interest in the open source community & also GTUG Kuala Lumpur. There were students that I talked to who were genuinely want to contribute, but just don’t know how. That has been always the problem. I can say not only in Malaysia, but also every other parts of the world. Genuine, proactive and positive people, who do want to take that chance & give something back from what they’ve learned & acquired using open source software. Honestly people, I can say on behalf of all FOSS dudes in Malaysia that I’ve met, they are just deeply in love with open source software. How? Why? Only they can personally explain to you, because not one I’ve met has told me the same story about their 1st encounter.

Typically enough, while talking to these kids, I do what I do best: encourage & motivate them. I’m a loser by any standard, but I can’t stand just by being a bystander and look at other people losing in a game where they can win. In my words, that’s the way I fight. In other words, I just like to do stuff & help people be better than what they could be. Strange, but true. If I could think of an answer to the question why, I would say I have seen both sides of the world in this make believe reality we live in. One half of my early life, I was fortunate to experienced what they called the “high society lifestyle”. As a brat, I grew up hating high society because I didn’t like what was happening. I learned what “backstabbing” really is in a very early childhood. I really hate high society. Because it was turning angels into demons. Including myself. A leo & a monkey, what do you expect what do you get? A very naughty, swinging king. Heh.

The other half of my life, I was fortunate to experienced what they called “crashed, desperate, normal society lifestyle”. When the economy crashed in the early & late 90s, everything crashed. Once was thought as friends, ended up being sleeping enemies who has been fucking your ass every night, literally. Once was thought could be as friends, ended up being judges that didn’t go to law school. They put you down, they say not very nice things, they did a lot of damage more than anyone could handle. Love and determination proved to be the reasons why everyone is still together & managed to dig out from what they like to call “the rut” or “the gut”. Something like that. And true enough, it took a lot of years, somewhat alone in an island, to discover a new kind of life. And I don’t regret the decision to pack up and leave at that time. And true enough, a new decision is waiting for it’s time to come.

And because of these 2 different experiences, I accidently lived a life I never thought could happen to someone like me. It’s all accidental. Remember Pak Pandir? Pak Pandir suka berangan. Ingat? It was something like that. I must say, without the determination & passion about technology, I would never thought to be a web designer, or web developer, or even as an evangelist. I taught myself everything. From HTML, CSS, JavaScript, PHP, Perl and a lot more. I wasn’t able to finish college and I went to 2 of them. I wasn’t the pay attention in class type of kid. And honestly, I was worried being under qualified academically, but confident that I am qualified in years of experience doing stuff. One place to another, I never dreamed and I still don’t dream that much of good to come by my way. But it still does and I thank God for that. Serious. I don’t want to be rich, I just want to be wealthy. Go figure what that really means to me. That’s the thing, that’s the drive. I just want to do stuff so that I can be wealthy. Again, go figure what it really means to me.

My personal advice is: just love what you are doing. Don’t give a fuck to those people who puts you down. Sometimes you do need what they called “a lesson”, but a friend will give you “a lesson” when you really, really need one. Just be in love with things that makes you = you. And hopefully, with effort, good intentions and determination, you become better than me. I’d like to see that.