I quit. On this day, I’m letting go and dealing with my urges to sneak in nicotine into my already dark & evil lungs. Can I make it? Not sure. I was already a heavy smoker at the age of 12, quit when I got myself into high school and started smoking back again when I left school. And that was 9 years ago.

And it has been said to me, although together, there seems to be no future.

Can I really make it? My reason: it’s for me and it’s for her. I want to do this for her to make her feel a little bit happy, at least. Get well soon mom. And I’m living with the moment.

h3. Silverchair “Straight Line”

Rock, pop, dance, samples and orchestra music is their new mix. John Daniels sounded more like a post-rocked Justin Timberlake. In Freakshow, they headbanged their way to the top charts. In Neon Ballroom, they gracefully returned after Daniels self-exile. In Diorama, they made some kind of pop-rock music.

And now, “Young Modern”. _Ungh_.

bq. I pray & wish freedom for you. It was a disaster. You deserve it better than anyone I know. And I have no idea.

- _3pm, Part I_

bq. “You need the willingness to fail all the time”

- _John W. Backus, creator of Fortran_

Rest in peace my comrade. We fight the same fight. We reached the same reach. But it is you having to go. “Peace”:http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/20/business/20backus.html.

And remind myself that I am not the best out there, then I learn, to let go. It’s no longer what & want, it’s what & have. It gets harder, when what was there, leaves a footprint that walks with you. It would be easier, if the footprint was just another that the sea would make it disappear. Could never move if those footprints, hits a drag. Am idiot. 1 part brave, 3 parts fool.

Once upon a morning, Jada made her way to work and had an edgy & cranky look on that morning. She past by the first light. Then the next light. Then the other. So, everything was good, for the time being.

With sun brightly shining onto her, Jada let herself drift away with lucid dreams of her own. She dreams of life. She dreams of people. She dreams of power. She’s an avid dreamer, so to speak.

Little did she knew, that the next pothole will be the last. Little did she knew, it was already there. *BANG!* The sound of music. The chills of uncertainty.

More or less, it wasn’t all that bad. With her neck bones healing supportively, over time, Jada knew she will be back. And definitely not the same.

This is a story. It is about how unfair it is. It is about assurance. We’ve been through this before. But this time, it’s you.

And men loves puzzle lingerie.

Segala yang ku pasti akan aku capai tuk mengambil hati mu
Melepasi angkasa cinta ku
Sesudah aku melafazkan kesemua yang diperlu
Ianya seperti suluhan yang terang

Segala yang kau ragui akan ku padam habis dari hati mu
Mengingkari dalaman akal mu
Takkan puas ku, mengiringi semua tawa dan tangisan mu,
Anggun wajahmu, pelita yg terang

Hatiku mahu mu
Rupa mu
Masih masih masih masih…

Kau terindah
Masih ada
Yang tercantik
Itu Kamu

Tiada mengapa taupun sampai bila kerna cinta enggan kenal mengalah
Memanah masuk hatiku yang reti
Setelah kau nampak tetap ku masih menunjukkan erti hidupku
Yang mahu bersama kau buat selamanya…

_Thanks to Estranged for making this song. It just relates somehow, somewhere, someone. It somehow sounds like a response to Incubus “Make Yourself”, or “I Miss You”. More like this was a Malay version. Hmmm…_