5 days on the job. So far, everything seems to pretty tight. Workload is abundance. Pressure is at indefinite amount.

Pretty much I have understood the big picture, but sadly enough somehow, somewhere, there is a tear in that picture. It seems like as if everyone understood, but it’s not what it is. It seems like everyone is afraid, but I keep wondering why if you already did what you need to do.

But nonetheless, it’s a challenge. To be the lead web designer, I need to come up to that responsibility. To what end? I won’t know until I try.

Now, on a weekend, I’m working. But hell, it’s not like something I never done before.

Remember the first time you went to primary school at the age of 7? All that crying. Begging. Nagging. Wanna go home. My mother said (which I actually asked about it) that I cried like a cry baby on the first day of school. I was a baby at 7. Big ass baby.

But nonetheless, I remembered the fear. It’s a total change of environment. From home to crowded schools. Things just suddenly gets busy and you start to get afraid. Well, same thing I felt today, my first day at work.

But it was a cool company. Everybody seems to be cool. I pretty much getting along with new colleagues. But I was afraid of what’s going to happen next?

Most people would say once you’re a paper pusher, you will be a paper pusher. Well, that depends on what is your job. But being in a creative+technnology type of department, my oh my. The work never seems to stop. The graph for stress, will fluctuate, up & down. Like nice mountain tops. You will start getting afraid. Everything seems uncertain. Unlike typing all the way.

But more than ever, it’s when you start being afraid & happy at the same time. Its fun & stress at the same time. Don’t know what I’m talking about. Me neither.